overcomeHER Power Booster of the month
“Truly great friends are hard to find,difficult to leave, and impossible to forget” -Anonymous
Growing up I was always taught the importance of calling the ones you love. Checking on your family or friends was a sign of respect and adoration. However, as the generational tide changes so does the world’s expectation on communication. Commenting below pictures or hitting the like button on one’s status/photo has become our means of showing someone that we care. Have we lost the true essence of humanity? How much do we rely on social media to keep us updated on our loved ones lives versus actually speaking to them?
As we get older in life it is expected for us to lose friends along the way. We have heard it before, whether it’s a viral inspirational video or meme, we are constantly fed with the messaging that it’s ok to lose friends especially when they are negative or stagnant. However, what if the reason you lost friends wasn’t because these people were “energy suckers”, but it was due to the fact that you stopped maintaining the friendship?
My mother always compared a friendship or essentially any relationship to a flower; you must tend to it in order for it to grow. Friendships that are not tend to will die. Now I understand that priorities rule everything. Maybe that friend isn’t really important to you and you are entitled to that feeling. However, if that friend is important but you just haven’t had the time to maintain the friendship, here are 5 steps on how you can improve that situation:
Monthly Boost Yourself Challenge
1. DETERMINE YOUR PRIORITIES
In life we go through many transitions. When we are younger, we might feel like we have all the time in the world. Hanging with friends becomes a major priority, but as time progresses we tend to gain more responsibilities and our time becomes even more valuable. Of course everyone and everything can’t have our time but evaluating who and what matters in your life is very important. People make time for the things that matter to them. Once you decide on the people that matter, make them a priority in your life.
2. PUT YOUR PRIDE ASIDE AND COMMUNICATE
Someone has to make the first step in order to maintain a friendship. Putting our pride to the side can be extremely difficult. You might be thinking “well if they cared then they would call”, I can only imagine how many friendships that has ended due to both parties expecting the other person to call or text. If you are the friend that always contacts the other person this is considered to be a one-sided friendship. This is not a healthy friendship and you must communicate to that person your concerns. If they are not willing to improve, you might have to accept the fact that you are no longer a priority in that person’s life.
3. SET A REMINDER
A more practical way to make sure you are maintaining friendships is setting a reminder in your phone. Building a routine of connecting with the ones we love helps us to develop an innate action. I know this sounds forced but the same way we schedule working out, homework, or anything else that we deem important, we must be intentional about maintaining friendships as well.
4. HANG OUT
Whether it is a Groupon activity, traveling, or wine at the house, spending quality time with one another is vital in maintaining friendships. Now just calling or texting could be just enough for long distance friendships, but friends that are local should hang out every once in a while. How often is determine by the people of course. Please don’t get me wrong about this, just because you aren’t spending time with one another doesn’t mean your friendship will become weakened. However, never spending time with one another might just keep your friendship at a certain level (this is all relative of course).
5. CHOOSE COMPASSION
No one is perfect. Dwelling on your friend’s negative traits can sometimes make us forget the reasons why we became friends with that person in the first place. Evaluate the intentions of your friends and also communicate with them if you felt hurt or misunderstood. Communicating will allow the other person to become aware of your feelings. Once you both understand each other’s perspective it becomes easier to show compassion.
Have other great suggestions please feel free to add to our list by writing a comment below!
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